Through Cracked Ice
by Warrayfinson
Summary: Set after Aizen's defeat. Momo's mental health rapidly deteriorates as she recovers in the fourth divsion . When Hitsugaya visits her for the first time after the war, she asks him to do the unforgiveable. Can he go through with her request, or will he face the consequences if he chooses not to? Contains dark themes and violence.
1. Chapter 1 - Hairline Fracture

**AN: Hey everyone!**

**So here's another Hitsuhina story, but this is not going to be like the other ones I have written. This is a much darker story, and I got the inspiration for it when I was feeling a little low a few weeks ago. Because of the depressing situations, this means that there is going to be EXTREME OOCness, but I hope it's also realistic. I don't think this story will run much longer than 3-5 chapters, but let's see how we go :D**

**NOTE: I'm considering if I should change the rating to M because of some of the dark themes and violence that'll happen later on. If at any point you think this story should be M rated, please don't hesitate to say so, and if get enough people saying that this story should be M, I'll change the rating. **

**With that said, ****WARNING: This is potentially borderline M rating; it contains dark themes and some violence.**

**Disclaimer: I own this laptop, these assignments that are due in soon, this copy of **_**Phantom of the Opera**_** movie from 2004, these albums of heavy metal artists, these meringues I just made, and these feet resting on the coffee table, Tite Kubo own BLEACH and the image used for the cover belongs to pink-pink from deviantART.**

* * *

**Through Cracked Ice**

Chapter One: Hairline Fracture

"Taicho, are you sure about this?"

Hitsugaya didn't' to need to look back at his lieutenant to know the expression she wore was one of concern and uneasiness. She had that look since he first mentioned the idea of coming here. She protested, coming up with excuses that didn't budge him from his goal, and so she gave in, but only if she was allowed to go with him. He'd agreed to her terms; and now here they were, in the fourth division, standing outside the door of one of the recovery rooms.

He wondered if his expression had changed to reflect his emotions, but he felt so sure he had kept up the icy exterior. "Matsumoto, you can go," he eventually replied.

He heard a frustrated sigh escape from her lips. "You know I can't. What if something happens?"

He frowned, and couldn't help the annoyance that crept into his system."I'm capable of taking care of myself, I'm not some kid you know."

"That's not what I meant," she said, frustration rising in her voice "You haven't seen her since the war! What makes you think she is in the right state of mind to see you? Do you remember what I told you about her?"

How could he forget? He glanced to his side, seeing in peripheral her strawberry blonde blonde hair. Rangiku had told him of the time she came to visit her, the current resident of this room. It resulted in the Rangiku having the smile wiped clean from her face, and a faint, barely-torn scrap on her arm. When her captain had asked her about the incident, she didn't tell him immediately, not knowing how he would react.

"I don't know what she will do, taicho." Rangiku continued after a pause. "In this state, she's unpredictable, unstable… Things might not go as you want them to, and I don't want to see you get hurt again, sir."

Her concern touched him, but his determination was stronger. "Thank you, Matsumoto…but I know what I'm doing. Don't interfere, no matter what happens, is that clear?"

She looked at the back of his head wide eyed. Was he insane?! "Taicho, what are you-?"

He curtly turned around. "Is that clear?" His voice was hard, and h pronounced ever word clearly and slowly, as if she didn't understand his language.

She scanned his eyes, trying to see if there were any cracks behind the determination in the turquoise eyes.

She saw so many.

She saw that through the thick ice he had built up and past the unwavering determination, there was web of cracks. The cracks were to his soul, a soul that was currently in pain. It was raw pain, linked straight to the heart. She knew all too well that kind of pain. It ate away at the heart until it painfully gave up life. Until it gave up on the hope that someone would come back…Someone you desperately want back, no matter what.

Rangiku knew that kind of pain too well.

And she knew she couldn't change his mind once he made it.

This was his fight now, not hers.

Was it for pride? She didn't know. She had always known never to interfere in a fight that was for pride. But as she looked at him, her small, white-haired taicho, she realised what this fight was for; and she admired him for it.

Realising the silence had dragged out for long enough, she gave a single not and said firmly. "I understand, taicho."

Hearing her confirmation, he turned back to the door. When he was sure Rangiku couldn't see his expression, he let his mask slip. In truth, despite his desperate attempt to mask his emotions, he was frightened. He was frightened of what was to come, and what would happen once he opened the door.

Would she scream and claw at him? A 'caged animal' some had described her as…but was it true? If it weren't he would have come running to her side during her recovery. He wouldn't be a coward any longer. He was going to do it today. He was going to face her, and prove to everyone she wasn't completely lost. Was it really to prove it to everyone though…or to himself?

He shook the thought from his mind, and the pain in his heart. His hand took hold of the handle. He breathed in, trying to calm his pounding heart. He heard his heartbeat in his ears, and as he slid the door open, his heart seemed to stop.

There was a faint light coming through the curtains, lighting the small area in front of the hospital bed. The room was dark, and the only sounds he could hear were the members of the fourth division working in the background.

His eyes finally landed on her.

She was turned away from him, sitting upright in the bed with the sheet over her legs and her hands in her lap. She was looking at the window, as if the curtains weren't drawn in front of it. He could only stare at her, the very sight of her a shock to him and enough to cease all coherent thoughts in his mind. From behind he saw her hair, usually tied up in a bun, was now a loose, frail ponytail. Her skinned was nearly the same colour as the white robes of a patient she was dressed in.]

Even as he stepped into the room and closed the door behind himself, he didn't look away from her. Upon hearing the door close, she turned to him. Her eyes, a lifeless brown, sparked some colour in them once they landed on him.

She sheepishly smiled. "Hello, Shiro-chan."

Hearing the nickname fall from her lips after so long caused his heart to clench. He held back a cringe. The last time she had said his nickname…she was in his arms, bloodied, dazed and confused.

"Hinamori…" He trailed off, unable to piece a sentence together.

She jolted upon hearing her name. The smile wore off, and all she did was stare back at him. She moved a hand from her lap and tugged the bed sheets away. She slipped her legs off the bed and sat on the edge. Her eyes on him intently the whole time, as if he were an animal about to pounce on her.

"Shiro-chan…Hitsugaya-kun," she corrected herself. "…You came…just as I thought you would." She patted the space next to her, inviting him to sit.

Despite her fatigued state, see still had some energy to her old self. He frowned. Something wasn't right still. He stepped towards her "How did you know I would come?"

As if sensing he had no intention of sitting down, she stood up and slowly walked to him. "I just had a feeling today that you would. I'm glad that you did."

Hitsugaya wasn't quite sure how to respond. He stood before his childhood friend, who he known for countless years, and this was one of those rare moments where he couldn't think of something to say. He looked into the dull chocolate brown eyes, and beyond the lifelessness, he saw the weak chains that connected to her heart, to who she was. So long as he could see that she was 'still there', he didn't know what to say or do.

"Hitsugaya-kun…are you alright?"

He was shaken by the attentive tone in voice, and the hand that barely touched his cheek. He wasn't use to her acting like this. He bitterly chuckled. The words escaped him before he could suppress them. "Aren't I supposed to ask you that? Don't you remember what happened before?"

She didn't react how he expected. She smiled and whispered. "Yes, I'm alright…for the moment. Unohana-taicho says that I'm…not well. I feel fine though. Much better then when I woke up…" She turned her head away, and spoke to herself "Yes, much better…"

Then, as if the previous smile had merely been part of a performance, genuine sadness drenched her features. She looked back to Hitsugaya, the hand slipping away. "And yes, I do remember what happened."

He couldn't hold back the cringe this time. A faint expression of anguish contorting his features. He had hoped that she wouldn't remember his actions that lead up to coma. He cursed himself in his head.

A wobbly smile curved her lips. "B-But it's okay…it's really…" Even as she tried to reassure him, her body shook and stepped away from him. "I-I-I really….Really d-don't…don't…" Her eyes darted around the room frantically, as if looking for an escape. Her hands clutched her elbows, dampening the robe with sweat. Her expression was one of utter panic and hopelessness.

Confusion shot through his system as he watched her change into a shaking wreck. He took a slow step towards her. "Hinamori?"

As soon as she heard her name, her attention went back to him. Tears were falling from her wide eyes. "Don't come near me! Don't come near me! Neither of you! Stop, both of you!"

Hitsugaya stopped. _'Both of you?'_ He looked around the room but saw no one. He looked back to his childhood friend. "Hinamori, there's no one else here."

She shook her head. "No! No, he's right behind you! Shiro-chan, get away from him! Get away from him! Don't let him get you!" She stripped over own feet and stumbled backwards. She landed the floor with a loud 'thump', but her eyes were set on the place over his shoulder. "No! Don't get any closer, Shiro-chan! I don't know what I'll do! I don't know what Aizen-taicho will do!"

That did it.

He let the icy expression fall, and his true emotions showed. He was confused and in agony that she was in fear of something that didn't exist…or was it she feared him?

His body drove him towards her in a rushed step. His arms wrapped around her tightly. "Hinamori, calm down" he said as levelly as he could.

She began to thrash against him. She punched him on the back and tried to twist her body out of his grip. "No! No, let me go! He's coming for the both of us! I have to run away before he-!"

"There's no one there, Hinamori!" His voice was louder now, the false calmness evaporating in seconds.

"Hitsugaya-kun!"

His hold on her tightened. "HINAMORI, I'M HERE!"

The beatings on his back stopped, and he felt her body stop against his. He heard her gasping for air. All he heard was their breathing. He unconsciously began to count how many breaths she was taking. It was as if he were checking to make sure that she was still alive, that she was still the Momo Hinamori he grew up with.

She hadn't fully given into the beast that was trying to control her.

The beast known as 'insanity'.

"I'll go get Unohana." He said, about to move away.

She clung to him as if he were a life raft saving her from unstable waters. She buried her face in his captain's haori. "Hitsugaya-kun…" she sobbed "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…I don't know what to do."

"Unohana will know."

"Don't go…please."

The plead was enough for him to hold her again.

He let her cry, wail and sob into his body. He held her frail form to his, kneeling on the floor. He hated seeing her like this. She was like a tiny, fragile flower, and if he let go, she would crumble and wither away. His heart ached so badly he felt some tears pricking at the rims of his eyes. He would let take all of his strength if she needed to. She could take everything he had, _everything_, if he meant helping her to recover.

"Hitsugaya-kun…" she spoke in a hushed whisper. "If I asked you to do something for me, right now…would you do it?"

She sobbed, jolting his body again. He raised his head to her ear, and whispered back. "Anything."

"Shiro…chan."

He waited, not bothering to correct her about his nickname. Her voice was paper-thin, now that she had calmed down from the sobs and wailing. He felt her trying to push away from him, and he let her. She pulled herself away just enough to look up at him. Her complexion was ashen, tears still fell from her red, puffy eyes, and her bottom lip quivered.

She took in a breath, calming the quivering lip and the tear flow. She looked at him with new eyes. They were almost like the eyes of the old Hinamori. They were so full of life and conviction he thought he had finally broken through the barriers that had stopped her from returning.

"Shiro-chan…kill me."

All sound ceased.

There was a piercing silence ringing in his ears, and all that seemed to exist was the dark room. His eyes widened from the moment the last word left her lips. He had heard the words her whispering voice said clearly.

Yet despite this, he asked in shock "What?"

"Kill me…" she replied almost immediately. "Shiro-chan, you said you would do anything for me! Kill me, before I do something crazy – "

"No!" he cut her off. "What the heck are you saying?! Do you even hear yourself?! I won't let you do anything crazy, so just stop! The Hinamori I knew wouldn't give up like this, so don't you dare try to escape this by killing yourself!"

Her eyes widened, as if surprised that he didn't go through with her request. She was expecting him to? How could he? Why would she even think…?

He winced as he realised he used bad wording. The harsh realisation was quick to strike his heart, which clenched painfully as the memory flashed before his eyes. She still didn't know why he had…He couldn't even finish, it was too painful. Seeing her impaled on Hyourinmaru in his memories was enough for him to stop all of his thoughts.

She looked away. "Why won't you…do it?" She threw herself away from him. "It's not an escape…"Her sadness turned to rage once more. Her eyes burned into him, her mental state now totally broken. "IT'S NOT AN ESCAPE!"

There were no more chains connecting to the Hinamori he knew. Every link was shattered before his eyes as he gazed at the creature before him, who had taken the hollow body of Momo Hinamori. It had completely bleached out her soul. "You think that this is an excuse to run away?!" she screeched "You've killed me before, right?! Why can't you do it again?!" She grinned manically. "I've been stabbed through the heart so many times, physically and metaphorically! Isn't it about time one of those strikes KILLED me?! Why hasn't it happened yet?! What cruel force is keeping me alive, Shiro-chan?! Ican't go on living knowing I'm ALWAYS going to be stabbed in the HEART!"

The door slammed open, and before he could react, fourth division members restrained the thrashing girl. She screamed profanities and curses at him, but she didn't look away from the tenth division captain.

Isane was among the fourth division members, ordering them to perform kido to calm down the screaming girl. As they did, she turned to Hitsugaya. "I apologize, Hitsugaya-taicho" she said solemnly. "I think it would be best if you left for now." She looked back to the scene behind her. "Again, I apologize." And with that she rushed to her division members to help them detain and calm the girl.

Hitsugaya was speechless, and the sight before him was tearing away at his heart. She screamed and thrashed and clawed at the division members, and even drew blood. The barely injured division member staggers back, clutching his cheek and cringing.

Too shocked to control himself, Hitsugaya's relied on his body, which pushed itself away from the scene.

He turned his back on Hinamori.

"Hitsugaya-kun! Shiro-chan!" His childhood friend screamed at him. "SHIRO-CHAN! AIZEN-TAICHO! NO!"

The door closed the moment he left the room, muffling her cries and screams.

He hadn't realised he was sweating until he felt a cold, gentle wind wash over him. His limbs shook and all he could do was stare at the floor. Rangiku, seeing her taicho exit, rushed to him. "Taicho! Taicho, what's happening?! Are you alright?"

He couldn't hear her past the loud ringing in his ears. The ringing turned into her screams.

"_Shiro-chan! SHIRO-CHAN! AIZEN-!"_

"TAICHO!"

The call out to him combined with the jerk of his body brought him back to reality. He looked up at Rangiku, who had her hands on his shoulders and look of urgency.

"She was shocked when she saw his expression. She quickly let go, but stayed at the close distance. "Forgive me, taicho, it's just…you were…I…" She was lost for words as she looked at him.

He looked defeated.

He looked like a lost child.

The determination she saw in his eyes was gone, and now all that lay among the ruins was shock and pain.

His raw emotions.

It frightened her to the core. Where was her strong captain that led there division? Where was the child prodigy who wielded one of the most powerful zanpukto? Where was the captain who would risk life and limb to protect Hinamori, his childhood friend?

She saw none of him in his eyes anymore. All she saw was a child, dressed in a shinigami uniform, and unable to comprehend what had happened in that room.

In a blink of an eye, he slipped out of her grasp and hid his expression. He began to walk down the hallway. "Let's go, Matsumoto" he ordered. There was anger now. She could feel anger pulsating from him. It was thick in the air, and she felt his reaitsu rise just a tiny bit.

Was he angry that she had seen him in such a vulnerable state? No, it wasn't that. As she silently obeyed and follow him, she knew. There was anger only at himself.

He had lost his battle with the beast.

The beast that blocked Hinamori from returning.

* * *

**So what do you think? Let me know in a comment or review, I always appreciate it :) So, as you can, see this story is not one of my usual ones; I hope you liked it, despite the gloominess/ angst, and EXTREME OOCness. Hopefully I can update sometime this week or next week .**

**Thanks for reading and keep writing!**

**-Warrayfinson.**


	2. Chapter 2 - The Storm

**AN: Hey guys!**

**I'm glad that people like this story, I was a little worried about it to be honest ^^; Thanks to ake-nee, hailey-shiro, Kuchiki-hime, and OuiSexSi for your reviews :D And thank you to everyone for the follows and/or favourites! Hope you all enjoy this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I own this copy of **_**'The Fifth Element', **_**this bowl of ice cream, this pencil, this eraser, this laptop, this USB, this photo album, these drawings, and this lamp right here, Tite Kubo owns BLEACH.**

* * *

**Through Cracked Ice**

Chapter Two: A Storm

He stopped writing on the reports the moment he sensed it in the air. He raised his head, looking out the nearest window. Despite the day being bright and warm with the sun, he could sense it, edging ever closer to the Soul Society.

There was a storm coming.

A strong one too.

He attempted to focus back on his work, but the storm was too distracting. He put the brush down again when he sensed Rangiku reiatsu approach. His frown deepened when he heard her voice boom on the ground floor of the division.

"And I said 'Well HEY! Go get another set, because these ones are taken!'" Drunken male laughter accompanied her remark. She boisterously laughed her up the flights of stairs and down the hallway to the office.

"Come on in!" she invited with a flirty slur "We'll play a game while my captain is out! Truth or daaaaaare!" The slid open as the men cheered at the idea of the game. All four drunkards didn't notice the seething captain as they entered the room.

They collapsed on the couches in a fit of giggles and chuckles. Renji and Izuru were on one couch, while Hisagi slumped in the couch next to Rangiku, who reached into her robes and pulled out a bottle of sake that somehow magically managed to fit in there. "Allllll right, the bottle is gonna determine who's gonna go first!"

She lazily put to bottle on the table and spun it clockwise. All four drunken lieutenants watched as the bottle kept spun, completely transfixed by the turning bottle that began to slow down. The bottle stopped nearest to Hisagi.

With a drunken hiccup, he said "Me?! Why me?!

"Just go, ya big dummy!" Rangiku said and smacked him on the back of the head with the sake bottle. She opened the bottle as Hisagi began to think of a question.

He turned to Rangiku. "Rangiku, truth or dare?"

Rangiku laughed, taking the sake bottle away from her lips. "Truth!"

The ninth division lieutenant grinned sheepishly. "Alright then…what is your boob size?"

She looked at him with wide eyes. Then, just as quickly, she looked at him with a hint of drunken flintiness. "Why don't ya come over here and find out?"

All three men looked at her wide eyes, mouths wide open and gapping. As blood dripped from Hisagi's nose, he did a double take and asked "Are you serious? Really?"

She made an inviting gesture with her hand. "Sure…" And with that Hisagi began to lean forward, sweat cascading down his tomato-red flushed face. And as Rangiku leaned forward, her arm went behind him and with it the sake bottle in her hand. She laughed as she brought the bottle down and hit him on the head, surprising him and sending him to the ground with a loud 'thud'.

All three of them laughed at Hisagi's misfortune. As he clutched his head, drunken embarrassment showed. "I knew it was too good to be true…Stop teasing me, Raaaaan-chan!"

"Hey, don't call me that!"

"But Izuru did and you were okay with it!" Reniji pointed out, jerking his thumb to his friend next to him. Izuru, too drunk to really understand, just babbled on about a pigheaded fox and a promotion.

"Yeah, but Izuru doesn't try to come on to me! Also, don't forget his BIG promotion today! "

Their arguments continued and soon they were drunkenly laughing and playing truth or dare again. Renji was about to complete his dare –run butt naked around the Soul Society – as he stood up and was about to take off his uniform, when the room temperature suddenly seemed to drop.

With a twitching eyebrow and at his limit, Hitsugaya had raised his reiatsu, watching all four of them with glaring eyes. He had put up with them not noticing him this far, but now he was just annoyed by their antics. At the sudden temperature plunge, the lieutenants stopped giggling and chuckling, and straightened. They slowly turned their heads towards the captain, and drunken confusion and horror washed over them as quick as the three men flash-stepped out of the office.

"See you tomorrow, Ran-chan!" all three male lieutenants exclaimed on their way out.

Offended by the nickname and that they had abandoned her, Rangiku was left to face her annoyed captain. She turned, her bottom lip pouted and false tears in her eyes. "Captain, don't hurt me."

"Idiot" he muttered, lowering his reiatsu "How many times do I have to-?"

Rangiku fainted, overcome by the alcohol. She fell into an inebriated sleep, snoring as if to confirm she wasn't faking it. Hitsugaya rolled his eyes and continued with the paperwork, his eyebrow still twitching. Hours passed, and eventually, night came. He was finishing the last of his paperwork. It had taken him all day, but at least that meant he had the day off tomorrow.

He usually planned something to do the day before, unless of course there was an emergency or there were unavoidable circumstances that stood in his way. He was sure that there was a captain's meeting tomorrow, sometime before midday. He tried to think of what else he would do tomorrow. He'd most likely train, hone his skills. It had been a long time since he last trained with Hyourinmaru. He considered even making a trip to the Rykongai to see Granny, or do some ice sculptures for the _Sereitei Weekly_.

His frown dug further into the bridge of his nose. So much had happened; he had been so occupied the past few weeks and days. So much stress and unwanted distraction. He hadn't been able to plan anything for a long time, and now that he was able to, he didn't know what he could do.

He could still sense the storm, and it was irritating him. He glanced at the approaching clouds on the horizon. They were beginning to close in on the Soul Society.

There was a shuffling from the couch, followed by a groan. He saw the lieutenant rise from her nap on the coach and stretch. She looked around as if trying to understand her surroundings. Realising where she was, she turned and looked over her shoulder to her captain. This was the same routine again. She'd get drunk, collapse on the couch, and when she woke up and finally realised where she was, she'd look over her shoulder to check if Hitsugaya was still at his desk filling out paperwork. She'd rarely wake up to not see him there.

"Taicho…" she said.

Hitsugaya briefly looked up from his paperwork. "You were late, again." He didn't bother mentioning the game of 'truth or dare' she had done with the lieutenants. He was fairly sure she remembered that part of her evening at least.

Rangiku stood up from her place, and her hand went to the side of her head. She blinked twice before focusing back on Hitsugaya again. She walked out from behind the coach. "How late is it?"

He didn't respond and continued with the last of the paperwork. Nearing the end with only a few more spaces to fill, he asked with slight annoyance. "Did you even go to the lieutenants meeting?"

Her eyes shifted to the clouds in the distance. The hand fell away from her head and went to the scarf around her shoulders. It was fairly dark, and she could only guess how late in the night it was. With a dry sigh, she finally responded. "I did go…They wanted a temporary replacement for the fifth division."

Hitsugaya stopped his hand mid stroke. He wasn't surprised; he knew it would happen soon. A temporary replacement while Hinamori would recover. Sometimes, though, 'temporary' became 'permanent'. He looked away, also drawing his attention to the clouds in the distance. "Who was picked?"

"Izuru," Rangiku said "His third seat, Riku Togakushi, will be taking over the third division for the time being. You'll be informed about it tomorrow in your meeting." She looked back to her captain. "It's only until Momo recovers…I'm sure Unohana will tell you about her condition tomorrow in the meeting as well."

She sensed the hints of doubt when his eyes lowered. He doubted that Izuru was only a temporary lieutenant for the fifth division. Even while going out to celebrate his new position with Renij and Hisagi, and even while toasting and drinking down the endless cups of sake, she had her own doubts. Rangiku had doubts about Hinamori recovering, and she knew, inside the white haired boy before her, that he was having the same feeling as she had. In the back of her mind, the doubts crept back in, and she was forced the push them away.

The lieutenant put on a smile, hoping that it looked as reassuring as she wanted to be. "Cheer up, taicho! Hinamori is going to recover soon, I know it."

When Hitsugaya's expression didn't shift, hers softened. She looked back to the clouds. "You should go see her again." she suggested, her tone quiet and serious. "It's been a week, hasn't it? I think she's more stable now."

He didn't respond at first. In a tone similar to hers, he said "I'll see."

Rangiku frowned. "Is that a storm in the distance, taicho? Or are we just going to get an overcast tomorrow?"

* * *

The captain's meeting had been brief. It consisted of general notices and events, the announcement of Izuru's new position as the temporary fifth division replacement, and Unohana updating about the condition of certain shinigami, Momo among them.

When the meeting was over, Hitsugaya stepped out on the bridge that connected the first division office and meeting hall to the barracks. The clouds in the distance had now swallowed the whole sky, their dark grey misery blocking out any rays of the sun.

"Hitsugaya-taicho."

The said captain stopped when he heard the gentle voice call out to him. He turned to Unohana, who still stood near the entrance of door to the bridge. He crossed his arms over his chest. "Yes?"

She walked to him with a small smile on her lips. "I have more news for you on Hinamori-san's condition."

Hitsugaya fully turned his attention to the fourth division captain. His expression stayed the same, but his eyes noticeably changed. There was hidden sense of urgency in the turquoise. He watched Unohana approach and asked "How is she really?"

"I spoke the truth in the meeting, Hitsugaya-taicho," she said. "Hinamori-san is recovering quite well. She hasn't had any violent outbursts for a week and she's responding well to the treatment we are giving her. She also doesn't have as many nightmares, so she's been able to rest. I fear, though, that…" Unohana's expression softened at the edges as continued. "She needs someone to talk to her. If you can, please visit her soon, she misses you…she told me herself. She's wondering when you'll be coming back, and she's worried that she scared you the last time you came to visit her."

His answer was almost immediate. "Alright fine, I'll come by to see her today" he said with a nod.

Unohana smiled, nodded her head once and said "I'll let her know."

With the winds that began to pick up, the fourth division captain was gone in a flash-step. Hitsugaya once again looked up to the clouds, his hair and haori being blown violently in the direction of the wind. It didn't bother him nor did it distract him from the thoughts whirling around in his head.

He was going to see Hinamori today, after the failure last time.

Hitsugaya wanted to believe that his childhood friend was alright, that the incident last time was just a misunderstanding or that it had never happened in the first place. He wanted forget what she screamed at him, _begged _him to do…

_"Shiro-chan…kill me."_

He cringed hearing the request in his ears. His eyes tightened into a glare at the sky, and with it came feelings that edged away at the desire to see her. What if she asked him to do it again? And when he'd refuse her, what would she do this time?

Even so, there was that dim hope, small and fragile, that she had recovered. That what he saw before was merely an episode, never to happen again. He wanted to know if the ties to the old Hinamori were there, in her eyes. He wanted to see the life in her eyes again.

And with the new found determination, he flash-stepped to the fourth division. He walked through the grand doors of the barracks and down the halls to where he sensed Hinamori's reiatsu. The last time he had come here, he had barely felt her reiatsu. The fact he could sense it was a relief to him, that she was keeping up energy and taking care of herself. When he reached her door, he froze.

He was going through the same motions he had gone before when he visited her a week ago. This time would be different, he told himself. He was going to make sure this time she didn't breakdown. He was going to help her recover, no matter what. And if anyone or anything stood in his way, he wouldn't hesitate to eliminate it.

He knocked on the door, and it didn't take long for her to respond. "Come in."

He slid the door open, keeping a neutral expression. The same setting and she was in the same position as last time. She sat in the bed with her back straight, her head turned to the window, and her hair in a loose ponytail. The curtains were drawn back from the window, showing the cloudy sky and the Soul Society.

She turned to him, a large grin on her face. "Hitsugaya-kun!"

His shock nearly showed. He saw life in her eyes and grin. Such life, t was the old Hinamori. However, suspicion started to cloud his judgement, and as he closed the door, he said "Hinamori…"

The grin lost its meaning, and was now a plaster on her face. She was nervous, unsure. The said girl pulled the sheets away and stood up from her bed. "I wasn't sure if you would come."

He remained near the closed door, but watched her intently. "I wanted to see."

The grin faded now, and with it brought another emotion far from the beaming happiness she had had moments ago. She looked away in thought, a far away gaze on the floorboards. In her eyes, the grey clouds were reflected on the deep brown. He took a step closer, unsure of what to say or do.

She raised her head when she heard him step closer, and a lightly clenched fist went to her chest. "Hitsugaya-kun…I, uh…" She tried to keep looking into his eyes, but her eyes wavered and nervousness was evident in her posture. She took in a deep breath and exhaled just as quickly. With the breath came a new determination and now she was able to focus on Hitsusgaya's turquoise eyes.

"Hitsugaya-kun," she spoke "I want to apologize." She bowed down, her ponytail falling over her shoulder. "My behaviour last time was…unacceptable. I shouldn't have said or done those things to you. I'm very sorry…"

Sincerity was thick in her timid voice. Hitsugaya couldn't help but think back to what had happened all those weeks ago. He had come here, hoping to show that he could help Hinamori with her recovery, and show her the way. Now, as she bowed before him, he knew believed Unohana's report about Hinamori. She had no bags under her eyes or didn't look at all fatigued. She had life in her eyes again, and genuine emotion that wasn't rage, despair or hopelessness. The ties to the old Hinamori were there, but the beast inside her was also there. It lay dormant, waiting for another chance to strike.

He won't let it happen.

When Hinamori felt the hand on her shoulder, and flinched in surprised and quickly rose up. Her eyes widened when she saw the smile on his lips. It was warm and kind, saying that it forgave her. Even so, the next words his said only confirmed it for her.

"There's nothing to forgive, Hinamori," Hitsugaya said. "Just focus on the present, on recovering."

He expected her to smile. Instead, tears gathered in her eyes, and as they stood there, frozen in time, the tears spilled over and trailed down her cheeks. Worry filled him, until he saw the reason behind the tears. It wasn't because of sadness or insanity.

Her eyes only held gratitude. Pure and utter gratitude.

The girl stepped forward and wrapped her arms tightly around his waist. She sobbed into his haori, waves of tears falling from her eyes. Immediately his arms wrapped around her, an instinct reaction he had only for her. She was like a scared child. Her sobs shook his body.

"Thank you! Thank you, Shiro-chan!" Her voice was filled with represented anguish and gratitude. She sobbed as she continued "Thank you so much! I was so worried…that I had scared you away last time. I was worried that you didn't believe in me anymore, that I had scared you off. If that had happened I wouldn't have been able to bare it! I need you, Shiro-chan, more than ever. Please don't leave me. Please."

He held her together, as if she would shatter into pieces if he let her go. She was broken, but now he could see the cracks starting to heal over. In the back of his mind, as he looked out the window, he could sense the storm. The winds had died down outside, and the storm, now above his head, the storms presence was stronger than ever. He shrugged off the unwanted disturbance and focused back on his friend. He lowered his lips to her ear, making sure she would hear what he had to say.

"Baka," he said fiercely "I won't leave you. I wasn't scared last time. Nothing is going to scare me away from you, and nothing is going to stop me believing in you. Nothing."

They held on to each other in silence. They heard each other's breathing, one sobbing, and the other evenly breathing in and out near the opposite's ear. Even if time wasn't frozen, it felt like a eternity. They couldn't let each other go, for the fear of falling apart. One clung in sheer desperation, and the other clung for the hope that everything would go back to how it was. If any words were spoken, would they shatter the world around them? Would they break what they had accomplished today into millions of pieces?

Hitsugaya took the risk and spoke up. "Just focus on recovering, and I'll be there, every step of the way. I swear."

Her sobs had calmed down. Hinamori pulled away, feeling that she could now keep herself together. She wiped her red cheeks of any other tears. She giggled. "I might have overreacted."

Hitsugaya smiled again, the same smile. He shook his head and chuckled. "You never learn, do you?"

She frowned playfully. "What's that suppose to mean?"

He went along with her playful act. Around her, he could be out of character. He could no longer be the captain of the tenth division. He could be Toshiro Hitsugaya, the person not many people truly knee. These moments were rare, but he considered her current state of mind, and decided to let his guard fully down.

The white-haired boy shrugged. "Out of the two of us, you were always the one to be reduced to tears over the smallest of things."

Hinamori pouted. "Naaaaw, Shiro-chan! That's just mean!"

"It's true. You cried over a kitten, and when you had a thorn in your toe!"

"But that kitten was adorable! And that thorn really hurt!"

They laughed lightly, enjoying the fond memories that were brought to life again.

"I will recover, soon. Just you watch," she said, her voice determined and optimistic "After all…I haven't seen everybody in a long time. I heard that Izuru is taking charge of the fifth division until I recover. I have to recover so he doesn't have to fulfil my duties anymore. And I wanted to see Rangiku-san and Renji-kun again."

Her voice took a more serious tone as she continued "Now that I think about it, I haven't seen Obaa-san in such a long time. I hope she's doing okay."

When Hitsugaya had visited Granny a few days ago, she wasn't in her usual high spirits. She seemed to be her much quiet, more fragile. Hitsugaya had irrationally worried that if he stayed for too long his reiatsu would start to crush her body. He knew that her time was coming, but not even that thought could prepare him for when the time came. A world without his Obaa-san would be a very different place.

And somewhere in his mind and heart, despite the grim thought of Granny dying, he found the strength to smile. He had Hinamori with him still, and so long as he had her, everything would be okay. He looked at his childhood friend with the closed-lip smile, certain now that she was getting better. "I know you can recover, we all know, and we all believe in you."

She responded with her own smile, her eyes the most alive they had been since she was hospitalized. "Soon, this will all be over."

* * *

**MINOR NOTE: Obaa-san = Grandma.**

**So, happy ending after all…? Find out next chapter :D On my profile, I have a very brief description of the upcoming chapter. Apologises for any spelling or grammar mistakes I missed and OOCness (I'm so paranoid about it it's not funny O_o) . Comments and reviews are greatly appreciated! :)**

**Thanks for reading and keep writing!**

**-Warrayfinson**


	3. Chapter 3 - Consequences

**AN: Hey everyone!**

**Sorry this chapter took a while to upload, university life gets in the way most of the time. Anyhow, I hope you enjoy this chapter :D And again thank you to hailey-shiro and OuiSexSi for your reviews on the last chapter :)**

**Disclaimer: I own this laptop, this hot chocolate, these PJ's, this USB, this copy of 'Aftermath' from HURT, these drawings I have yet to upload, this globe, and this I-Pod, Tite Kubo owns BLEACH.**

* * *

**Through Cracked Ice**

Chapter Three: Consequences

_"Soon, this will all be over."_

Hitsugaya repeated that and many other lines in his head on the way back to his squad barracks. He felt uneasy. He couldn't see why that feeling seemed to be heavy on the edge of his conscience. She was saying that soon this would all be over and things were going to go back to normal…or as normal as they could be.

He concluded that it must because he hadn't expected her to recover this quickly. In matter of weeks she was almost back to her old self again. He wanted to be suspicious, but he couldn't bring himself to suspect anything. He saw genuine emotion in her eyes, and his haori was still damp from where she had cried into him. Surely this was enough to convince this feeling of unease that there was nothing to be suspicious about.

He couldn't help but hope.

A raindrop broke him out of his thought. He didn't stop to contemplate it as he saw the tenth division barracks not far from him. It began to shower over the Seireitei, and by the time Hitsugaya got in doors, it was heavily pelting against the rooftops and walls.

The barracks were silent except for the rain. He stopped not far from the door and looked towards the high ceiling. He listened to rain. He liked the sound, but he preferred snow usurpingly. Snow was cold, but he never minded that. He was use to the cold temperatures. It surprised him when he was a child that everyone tried to keep themselves warm during winter. While he went outside in his sleeveless garment, everyone gave him odd looks, though he suspected it wasn't because of his he was wearing.

He was always judged because of his attitudes and his hair colour. The only two people who stood by his side the whole time were Obaa-san and Momo. In all that time he was grateful, but he never truly acknowledged it until he left for the Shinigami Academy.

He landed a place in the third seat of the tenth division, and watched his future lieutenant and former captain argue over some of the most ridiculous things. Even when there were those who admired his power and strength, he still felt the prejudice eyes watching him. He looked like a child, as much as he hated to admit it, but he felt a lot older.

None of it matter in the aftermath of the Winter War. He remembered regaining consciousness in the fourth division, with Unohana greeting him back into the world. Rangiku visited him, but she acted dejected. She was mourning over the loss of the person she never truly gave up on.

His lieutenant told him what had happened after he lost consciousness, about Aizen and Ichigo's battle, and about Gin. The part about losing Gin, who had turned against Aizen and never explained why he had left her and the Seireitei. She spoke in an agonized voice and she became a sobbing wreck when she finished. He could easily hate Gin, but after hearing about his 'heroics', he couldn't completely hate him anymore. He couldn't forgive the former fox-smiling captain for what he did to Momo, but he had tried to kill the man that Hitsugaya had come to despise. He wanted to know his reasons for his actions, but even without that knowledge, he found himself being unable to completely hate Gin anymore.

He did his best to comfort his lieutenant in his weak state. The best he could do was tell her that she could have as much time off as she needed. Neither of them spoke about Hinamori, and it wasn't until he was fully healed that Hitsugaya gathered the courage to ask about her.

The rain picked up and he heard a thunder clap not far from the Seireitei. Knocked out his nostalgia, he put on a more serious expression and made his way to his office.

This was why he wasn't too fond of the rain. It brought back some unwanted memories.

* * *

Hinamori stirred from her nap at the sound of raindrops pattering overhead. She sat up and looked towards the window. She wasn't surprised to see the rain streaking across the window and the dark clouds that stretched endlessly across the dome of the sky. She moved off the bed, the sheets she had been lying on top of moving under her thin frame. She walked toward the large window and sat on the ledge.

She watched the rain with a look of nostalgia. She loved the rain, but she preferred the sun. The sun was warm and forgiving. It didn't drench her to the bone and make her shiver from the cold. It was the same with snow for a long time…until she met Hitsugaya.

Despite his zanpukto and his love of the cold, he was her sun.

He was warm and forgiving, and always believing in her.

She smiled at that thought, resting her chin on her propped up knee. She continued to watch the rain and let memories play before her eyes.

She remembered waking up, feeling weak and frail. She asked Unohana, who was one of the several fourth division members surrounding her, what had happened. The captain explained that it was after the war, that Aizen was defeated, and that she had been unconscious for weeks. Hinamori only took in some of the information she had been given. She felt that there was something lingering in the back of her mind. Something repressed.

That night, she was still awake and concentrating on what was bugging her. She couldn't remember what triggered it, but everything came back to her. She remembered the incredible pain that coursed through her. It was unlike anything she had ever experienced. Not even the stab she received from Aizen was like this. She felt numb when se received the stab wound from Aizen. It wasn't until she regained consciousness that she felt the pain of the wound. This one though, she felt her heart breaking and a thousand pins prick inside her skin. She saw red and white in her hazed, pained vision. Her limbs went numb. Her fingers and toes went cold. Her face lost all movement, and her jaw barely moved as she muttered something to her killer. She questioned him, similar to her first killer.

_Why?_

After everything came back to her, millions of thoughts ran through her head. The beast had awakened. It whispered in her ear 'truths'. She believed it's every word. She believed every word of the insanity.

And through all the trials and tribulations, her she sat on the window sill looking out the rain. She wasn't mumbling incoherent, non-seneschal sentences, nor was she screaming like an injured animal. She was calm and collected, lost in her memories and thoughts with a serene smile.

She didn't hear the knock on the door nor the door being opened.

"Uh, excuse me, Hinamori-fukutaicho," her intruder, a fourth division member, said. "I brought you dinner."

Hinamori heard the last sentence and turned, knocked out of her train of thought. Her look of surprise went back to the serene smile. Her eyes half hooded when she gazed upon the fourth division member.

"Soon, it'll all be over, won't it?" she said.

* * *

"Matsumoto?"

The said lieutenant looked away from the dreary landscape and to her captain. She didn't express much surprise, keeping a neutral expression was she spoke to him. "Taicho…"

Hitsugaya had been watching Rangiku for some time before breaking her from her thoughts. As he was on his way to his room he saw one of the balcony doors was open. He didn't think that Rangiku would be the one standing outside in the cold looking out over the Seireitei. Who else would it have been though? Considering the current situation, he would have suspected anyone would be out there. He found that a few people went out o to the balconies to think, to get away from everyone in the division, himself included. Because it was after the war, many of his troops would excuse themselves to go to places where they could reflect on what had happened. He found that the balcony was a common place that his division member would go to.

Usually Rangiku wouldn't be on the balcony. He'd sometimes find her on the roof of the division, and other times nowhere in the Seireitei at all. He suspected that she went to her old home, the one she had shared with Gin when they were children.

Hitsugaya watched her for a long moment, taking in her crossed arms, her empty but thoughtful expression, her drenched hair and uniform, and the occasional sigh that escaped her lips. She was a woman still grieving, still mourning the loss of the person she had come to love deeply. He saw tears well in her eyes, and her expression become one of pain. It was then that he had spoken up.

Realising that the pause had gone on for long enough, he decided to speak up again. "What are you doing out here?" he asked. He knew it was a pointless question, he already knew the answer, but it had been the first thing that had come to his head.

She looked at him, now turning her whole body towards him. Her eyes still glistened with unshed tears. She didn't bother to whip them away as they fell. A small smile shaped her lips. "I don't know really…" She turned away from him, looking back to the drenched Seireitei. She scratched the back of her head, the other hand still occupying the place under her chest. "I just ended up out here for some reason…" She brought the hand back down and crossed her arms again. She leaned against the railing.

Hitsugaya stepped out from under the shade, coming to stand next to her. "You're drenched," he noted without emotion.

She chuckled without humour. "You are now too…We saw this storm coming yesterday. Are you doing this, Taicho?"

"Doing what?"

"This!" She pointed to the sky above them. "This weather."

He shook his head. "No, why would I be?"

She shrugged. "Maybe you just wanted it to rain because you felt like it…" Her tone and expression became serious when she continued. "Or maybe you did it so you could think?"

His frown deepened. A thunder clap sounded off in the distance. He looked from the drenched Seireitei to his lieutenant, who looked at him with a slight frown of her own. "What gave you that idea?"

Her eyes looked away, the grey darken under her long lashes. "The rain has an odd affect on people, Taicho," she whispered. ", it makes them think…think very deeply. So many things can come to mind when the rain comes. Some are thoughts of future goals or thoughts of horrific acts yet to be committed. I think what the rain mainly brings to everyone is memories, both wanted and unwanted.

"No matter what happens to us, in the end, everyone in the Seireitei has lived through a rainy day. Everyone has all stopped and watched the rain, and waited for the effect it has on them to take place. That effect where the memories and thoughts come forth without any effort…It's strange, but also destructive in a way."

Amazed by her profound and uncharacteristic speech, Hitsugaya said nothing. He couldn't stop the surprised expression reaching his face. She noticed and raised an eyebrow. "Taicho, what is it?"

He shook his head, managing to return to his neutral, frowning expression. "I agree…to a degree."

She smiled, this time with contentment. "So this was your doing, Taicho?"

"No."

"I'm not entirely convinced."

"You know I can only control the weather when I use Tensō Jūrin."

Rangiku frowned playfully. "You just had to go ahead and burst my bubble."

Despite himself, Hitsugaya let a smirk slip. "Baka."

Rangiku wouldn't have believed it if she hadn't seen it herself. His smirk slipped back under the neutral exterior. His turquoise eyes looked towards the mountains. He was in a faraway place, where she had been herself before he found her outside. The rain had this affect on everyone. She looked around the Seireitei. She saw some bustling towards their homes or a place for shelter. She saw some looking outside their window into the rain, probably with similar expressions to the one her captain had right now.

She looked back to Hitsugaya, seeing that he hadn't been disturbed out of his trance. She found herself wondering what he was thinking. No, he wasn't thinking, he was remembering. She saw the nostalgia flash across his eyes, . She knew that there were memories playing across his eyes, frame by frame. No doubt they were about Hinamori. She could almost see the memories in his eyes, beyond the ice and turquoise.

A loud clap of thunder and a lightning bolt cut through the sky made her flinch in shock. She became aware of how cold she was from the rain. She shivered and leaned away from the balcony. "T-Taicho," her voice trembled from the cold "I think we should get inside."

He gave a slight jolt from breaking away from the memories. He looked to her, his eyes still somewhat captivated in the haze of memories.

"I know the cold doesn't affect you, but you're getting soaked too." Rangiku said "Might even catch a cold for all we know."

He half turned his head back to the Seireitei, almost giving her his answer. However, at the last minute, he rolled his eyes and leaned away from the balcony railing. "I won't catch a cold," he muttered.

She frowned in confusion as he followed her in. _'Taicho really isn't himself these days,' _she noted. As she stepped back into the barracks, Rangiku said "Stay here for a moment, Taicho."

Hitsugaya closed the door behind them, and before he turned be could respond to his lieutenant's request, he heard her flash-step out down the hallway. He did as she asked and waited for her to return. He raised an eyebrow when she came back minutes later, a tray with a teapot and two clay cups in hand. She had tied most of her hair back in a wet, messy, strawberry blonde bun and was changed into a new set of black robes without her iconic pink scarf.

"What's the meaning of this?" Hitsugaya said, vaguely gesturing to the tray she held. He saw steam waft out the spout of the teapot. He thought that if she would ever bring back a drink it would have been sake, never tea.

Rangiku smiled. "You may not be cold, but I need something to warm me up. As it is, I think you could use some tea before you hit the hay, Taicho." She set the tray down on a nearby window sill. He watched her as she poured the tea into the cups. He noted that she was a lot more upbeat and cheerful then she was moments ago. Was it an act? She took a cup and offered it him, the smile still in place. He looked into her grey eyes and saw some falseness in there. She was masking her emotions, but he decided not to point it out.

Sighing, he took the cup. "Thank you, Matsumoto." He sipped his tea gingerly, savouring the aroma and sweet taste.

She took her cup and gulped a large amount down. They both looked out the window in silence, almost as if they hadn't left the balcony. It wasn't long before Rangiku spoke up in a cautious tone. "How is Hinamori, Taicho? You went to visit her today, I heard from Isane."

Hitsugaya pulled the cup away from his lips, but didn't respond immediately. He was wondering if she would ask about her friend's condition. "She's recovering," he said. "She's hasn't had any problem for the past few days. She's sleeping well and eating too." He went on to explain what happened between him and Hinamori at the fourth division. Rangiku genuinely smiled in relief when he finished.

"Thank goodness," she said. "I had a feeling she was stable. I should have gone to visit her today as well…I'll defiantly go see her tomorrow! I'll even bring her some peaches!" She gave a little laugh at the end, already planning with how she would enter her friend's room.

Hitsugaya nodded, but held back a smile. "She wants to see you and others. She said she wants to recover so she can see you all."

"I'll drag those two along then as well!"

She finished off the last of her tea, moving on to her second serving. She grinned in excitement. "I'm so happy for her… and for you, Taicho."

Hitsugaya stopped drinking when he heard her. He saw a happiness in her eyes that he thought had left her forever. It was a happiness that would make the grey hues in her eyes glow, only to be dulled by the sake induced state she would put herself in.

He remembered that after the war when he was completely healed and ready to resume his post, he went to his office and saw her on the coach with several bottles of sake around her. She wasn't the usually jolly drunk though. The moment she saw him, she stood up suddenly, swaying from side to side. She shouted at him and yelled profanities. Her eyes were a drunken blaze, unlike the dull grey that was usually seen when she was a jolly drunk. Tears streamed down them and she broke out in a cold sweat.

She cursed the world, the humans, the Soul Society, and even him, like a madwoman. She accused her captain of 'crimes' that he knew he had committed.

"_Murder! You murderer! Just like Aizen!"_

He winced at the memory. Rangiku's expression became one of concern. "Taicho?"

Hitsugaya shook his head. "It's nothing…" It was the rain again. It had this affect on him, and as he discovered tonight, on his lieutenant as well.

Rangiku frowned. "Taicho, you can tell me, you should know that by now…"

Hitsugaya looked back to her. He remembered when she passed out not long after her rage. She woke up hours later with no memory of the incident. He didn't tell her all the details. He told her she yelled and screamed at him incoherently. He said nothing about her accusations against him. To his surprise, she went sober for several days as a result. Her first drink in a while was when Kira got his new position as lieutenant of the fifth division.

Uncharacteristically, Hitsugaya let his emotions show through. He showed confusion and a hint of sadness. This situation with Hinamori had weakened him more then he realised. He found it harder t keep his emotions in check.

"Am I…a murderer, Matsumoto?" he asked.

A look of shock washed over her. She put the cup down on the windowsill was quick to react. Much to Hitsugaya's bewilderment, she took him by the shoulders and fully turned him to her.

"Taicho, what are you saying?" she demanded. "If this is about what you did in the war then don't think like that! That was a mistake. It was Aizen's doing, you couldn't have known. He even blocked out Kurosaki's voice so that we wouldn't know! He's the real murderer here, Taicho, not you! Even so, Hinamori is still alive, and she's recovering! She may have been mentally unstable, but at least she's still alive and you can still be with her!"

He was in shock by Rangiku's outburst. They stared into each other's eyes, an intensity in her grey that managed to break through some of the layers of ice in his turquoise. He asked her to see if she would give the same response as when she was in her drunken rage.

He saw more then what she spoke of in her eyes. She wasn't just referring to the fact it was Aizen the _true_ killer of Hinamori. Her last exclamation was a dead giveaway. She was referring to the person she had lost at the hands of Aizen. Unlike Hitsugaya's act, this one was committed by the hands of Aizen himself, instead of using everyone like puppets to kill his target.

When he saw tears slip from her eyes, he finally spoke up. "Matsumoto, I'm sorry."

She sobbed, quickly leaning away and whipping her eyes as she turned away from her captain. He heard her mummer his name in the same voice that had told him what happened after he was slashed by Aizen. "Gin…"

"Matsumoto…" He wanted to say more, but he couldn't. He didn't know what to say or do. He approached her, putting the cup of tea aside. He put a hand on her shoulder and firmly gripping it.

Rangiku could feel his support through the touch. He was there for her, to be a strong post for her when she needed support. She turned to him, emotionally drained but managing a grateful smile. "Thank you, Taicho…I think…I think we need to go to sleep now."

Hitsugaya, not wanting to upset his lieutenant further, nodded and moved his hand away. As he turned to leave, he took the tea cups and tray away, whispering a "Thank you again, Matsumoto before flash-stepping away.

He could have sworn he heard her speak in a whisper before he flash-stepped away. "You're welcome…but I need to thank you most of all, Taicho, for being there for me. Thank you."

After putting the tea set away, Hitsugaya went straight to his quarters and lay on his futon, not bothering the change out his damp clothes nor pull the covers over himself. Exhaustion hit him like a ton of bricks, and he was ready to close his eyes and drift away to his dreams.

However, the buckle of his sash was making it uncomfortable for him He reached for the buckle and unclipped it, lazily putting Hyourinmaru next to his futon as opposed to his usual place against the wall. He his eyes closed as he moved his head to rest on his pillow. She sighed and waited for sleep to come. Everything was still, and all he could here was his breathing, the rain, and thunder was getting closer and closer to the Rukongai.

He was at peace for the first since after the war. Before this he would be kept awake by thoughts of Hinamori. Was she alright? Was she asleep right now? Should he go check? Memories would flood his vision. Memories of war, blood, and tears, so unbearable and unwanted.

Now he could finally rest, safe in the knowledge that his childhood friend would soon be out of the fourth division and back as the fifth division's lieutenant. He was safe in the knowledge that his friend and lieutenant didn't think he was a murderer, and had mostly convinced him that he wasn't at fault, and that he needed to focus on the present.

Sleep crept on him. He settled his mind.

He twitched when he felt a slash of high reiatsu in the air. He groaned, trying to focus on sleeping. It flashed in the air again, slashing the peace he had felt. He barely cracked open an eye, wondering if this was a dream.

A huge blast of reiatsu knocked him full awake.

He sat up with a start, eyes wide and startled sound escaping him. The blast was cut off, and a weaker one filled its absence. More reiatsu, weaker in comparison to the power one, joined in and soon there was a large chorus of them. He didn't recognise the any of them, and found it hard to distinguish any of them from the other. The powerful suddenly came back with a force unlike anything he had felt.

Not wasting any more time, Hitsugaya grabbed Hyourinmaru and leapt out of his bedroom window. He landed on the roof of the lower level of the barrack and sprinted towards the source of multiple reiatsu. The rain pelted against his skin, and a bolt of lightning lit up the grey sky, followed by a loud clap of thunder. He gritted his teeth as he tried not to focus on the powerful storm. He felt the weaker reiatsu dropping off one by one. His eyes widened as he realised where he was spriting towards.

'_Damn it! What the heck is happening over there?!'_ his mind yelled.

He leapt over the gaps between the buildings, using flash-step to finally reach the entrance of the division barracks. By the time he had reached the door, all of the reiatsu was gone, including the overpowering one.

He slide the door open without delay.

His eyes widened and he leapt back in surprise. A yelp escaped him and his mouth gapped open. His confused, horrified eyes trailed all over the interior of the barracks.

"What?" was all he would utter as he gazed upon all the member of the fifth division slaughtered and strewn across the barrack's floor.

* * *

**And here comes the possible M rating.**

**I'm sorry if my writing went a bit skewed after the middle section. While writing this, I received some sad news and was a bit distracted. Also, apologises for any spelling and grammar mistakes I missed. Despite that, I hope you enjoyed this chapter :D**

**About Aizen blocking Ichigo's voice. One thing some fans have pointed out in chapter 392/ episode 293 is that Ichigo stood by and let Hinamori get killed. I have to admit, it does kind of look that way. One theory though if that Aizen, using his hypnosis, blocked out Ichigo's cries by manipulating their hearing. **

**Reviews and comments are greatly appreciated as always :)**

**Thanks for reading and keep writing!**

**-Warrayfinson**


	4. Chapter 4 - Betrayal of the Soul

**A WARNING AHEAD: ****This chapter is rated M. It contains graphic violence/gore and adult themes for a majority of the chapter. You've been warned.**

**AN: Hi all!**

**It took a while to get out but it's here. Thank you to AmunRa, ****hailey-shiro** ** and Kuchiki-Hime for your reviews, they made my day! Hope you enjoy this chapter :D**

**Disclaimer: I own this laptop, this globe, these drawings, this deodorant, this lamp, this lava lamp, this copy of 'NIRVANA' by Nirvana, these ****highlighters, and this pencil that is smaller then my thumb, Tite Kubo owns BLEACH.**

* * *

**Through Cracked Ice**

Chapter Four: Betrayal of the Soul

He felt shivers jolt through him. He felt his fingertips go numb with a chill and twitch as he took in the scene before his wide eyes. Lightning flashed behind him, lighting the room for the briefest second. It was all he needed to see the extent of the massacre.

There were fifth division members slaughtered and strewn across the floor, walls, and over the staircase railing. Blood pooled around the dead shinigami, who's faces all showed an expression of horror or shock. Some were missing body parts, others were completely butchered. The stench that reached his nostrils was faint but enough to make him recoil his head away with a wince.

This was real, no matter how much he tried to deny it in the back of his head.

He took in a shocked, deep breath and stepped into the barracks. The stench intensified. It was the scent of raw meat and cooked flesh, the stench of war. He coughed out the breath he took in, choking on the smell that engulfed the room. His eyes slowly trailed around the large hall, looking all around for any clues to who the killer could be and what had happened.

He only saw blood, body parts, the hacked corpses of shinigami's he recognised, and some that were so badly damaged he couldn't even recognise them as being human. Some had large cuts in their waists, others in the head, almost slicing it in two. Some were sliced in two with one part of their body one on side of the room, while the other half lay somewhere else. Organs were strewn out, hanging from the bodies.

He had seen much in his time as a shinigami, but never something with this stench or this much gore. The way the killer hacked at the bodies showed hatred and merciless intent. This wasn't just out of the hatred of the killer, it was to provoke hatred in the Soul Society. And the young tenth division captain could feel the rage slowly start to boil in his veins past the shock and horror. He couldn't help but feel a sense of déjà vu. It was like the Aizen scenario all over again with the Central 46. However, he knew this was different.

This wasn't discrete; this was an obvious and vengeful massacre.

The floor boards above him creaked. His head darted towards the ceiling. A new shocked pulsed through him. The killer was still in the building.

He narrowed his eyes, trying to focus on getting to the room upstairs. He looked around him for a clear path to the stairs. The bodies only had little gaps between them and not clear path to the stairs. He lowly growled as the rage started to gain momentum in his system.

He carefully stepped around and between the corpses. His sandalled feet stepped in pools of blood and bits of flesh squished under his feet. He let out a wince, uncomfortable for once with stepping over bodies. Had these been the bodies of hollows he wouldn't have cared that much, but these were his fellow shinigamis.

Finally getting to the staircase, he reached out to the banister, cautious as if it would set alit the moment he touched it. Lightning flashed behind him again, casting his and corpse shadows against the walls. He slowly made his way up the steps, attempting to keep his spiritual pressure low as he moved with a deadly quiet stealth. He gripped onto the hilt of Hyourinmaru, preparing for an attack for the killer. As he was reaching the top step, his eyes glanced down the hallway. He almost stopped to do a double take at the sights that lay out in the corridor.

Further down the hall were more bodies, stacked in a small pile near the fifth division office. There was blood smeared on the walls, in the shape of handprints. He reached the top step, looking towards the office. He took slow steps towards the bloodied office doors, his nose and brow crinkling as the smell of smoke joined the already overpowering raw scent. He could detect a faint reiatsu coming from the office the closer he got. He recognised it and stopped, eyes widening and trying to make sense of why this spiritual pressure was there.

'_Izuru?'_ he thought. _'Why is he…Was he injured, or did he…?_ As the last thought entered his mind, he went rigid. _'Why would he though? What would his motivation be?! It doesn't make any-'_

He tensed up as he felt a presence behind him. Without hesitation he turned on the person behind him, sword drawn and about to slash across their abdomen.

"Taicho, it's me!"

The hurriedly spoken words stopped him. Hyourinmaru was inches away from Rangiku's waist. He quickly lowered the blade, confused. "Matsumoto?"

She let out a relieved breath. "Taicho…I thought it was you, but I wasn't sure. I thought you might have been the one who did…" –she grimly gestured to the massacre around the –"this." Her voice became a disturbed whisper on the last word. "I heard screaming from the division, and then all of the spiritual fluctuations. I came here to investigate, and then I felt your spiritual pressure just now."

He nodded. "Did you…find anything down there?"

A sad frown creased her brow as looked past her shoulder down the hallway. He looked her over, noting the small splashes of blood on her sandals and on her robes. She hadn't changed into her shinigami uniform, she wouldn't have had time.

"Nothing different from what you have already seen," she said as she turned back to him. "I don't understand who would do such a thing! The way they killed them all, it's as if they wanted to torture them!"

He raised a hand to cup her mouth as her grey eyes looked around downstairs. Her attention was drawn back to her captain when he turned back to the doors of the fifth division office. She felt the flicker of Izuru's reiatsu. "I-Izuru?"

Hitsugaya's eyes narrowed. He turned to Rangiku, and then found himself turning back to the office door when she flash-stepped past him. She tried to open the door, but the bodies stopped her from doing so. She was panicking, desperately trying to open the door.

"Izuru!" she cried out. "Izuru, it's Rangiku! I'm coming to get you!"

Hitsugaya ran to her. "Matsumoto-"

"Taicho, help me get this door open."

She was giving him a look of urgency, one he couldn't refuse. They both looked to the pile of bodies Rangiku was leaning over to get to the door. They looked back to each other. Without further delay, they began to move the bodies away. Hitsugaya detached himself from the emotions of rage and sorrow he felt, focusing on trying to get the door open. He couldn't help the thoughts the circulated in his head. Part of him reasoned that he was being ridiculous about Kira being the killer. However, that other part of him, the part that was always calculating and suspicious since Aizen's betrayal, was on high alert trying to find answers quick.

He looked up from a body he dragged away from the door to his lieutenant, who was trying to keep a look of determination in place of the true horror she felt. He became aware of the feeling of corpses skin underneath his palms. It was cold but wet and warm with the blood. He quickly went dragged another corpse away from the door. The way was clear.

Rangiku flung the door open and stumbled into the room. "IZURU!"

Hitsugaya ran to the doorway. He could only stare in horror at the scene before him. His eyes followed the trail of blood that led to where Rangiku crouched. In her arms was Izuru, with his left leg and right foot hacked off and a large, bloody slash across his abdomen. His face and hair were caked with blood as his eyes wondered around aimlessly trying to find the source of the panicking voice.

His eyes seemed to recognise Rangiku when they fell on her. "Ma…Matsu…" His voice was a hoarse, broken whisper. Rangiku shuddered as she looked at the severe injuries on her friend. She gently placed him on the ground and rolled up her sleeves, "Hold on Izuru, I'll heal you." As she chanted a kido under her breath, the familiar golden glow came from her hands and engulfed the injured lieutenant's torso.

Hitsugaya entered the room as the glow lit up the office. Around him he noticed overturned furniture, blood spilt across the destroyed desk, papers, and walls, and the balcony door was wide open.

His frown deepened when he saw that some of the papers were burnt, and some of the destroyed furniture was singeing. Fire…from kido?

Another reiatsu entered the division. Hitsugaya turned towards the door as he recognised who it was. Their voice wafted up from the first floor, expressing shock upon discovering the massacre. It was Isane. Hitsugaya ran out to the stairs. "Isane!"

The fourth division lieutenant looked up from the corpses to Hitsugaya eyes, her own brimming with tears and shock. "H-Hitsugaya-taicho?"

"We need your help, up here. Izuru is still alive but he won't live unless you tend to him."

Isane nodded. "A-Alright, I'll be there." Like Hitsugaya, she moved with caution between the scattered bodies. Hitsu went back to the office, seeing that Rangiku hadn't moved from her current position at Izuru's side. Izuru stared at her with unfocused eyes, as if in a daze.

Isane joined Hitsugaya at the doorway. She gasped at seeing Izuru. "Izuru-kun!"

Rangiku whipped her head back to the doorway, letting out a sound of relief at seeing Isane. "Thank goodness you're here! Quick, he's dying!"

Without hesitation, the fourth division lieutenant began to heal Izuru, her kido more advanced then Rangiku's and doing a quicker job on healing the cut across his chest.

Rangiku backed away, not wanting to get in the way of Isane's work. She looked to her captain in horror. He couldn't hold back similar emotions, but managed to retain some of his neutral, frowning expression.

Rangiku stepped toward him. "What's going on…? What is this?" She confused as much as Hitsugaya was.

Isane looked back to the duo. "Rangiku-san, Hitsugaya-taicho, I didn't come here because I knew about this."

They looked at her in confusion. "What do you mean, Isane?" Hitsugaya asked.

"…Back at the fourth division barracks….there was an incident. I-"

More reiatsu entered the atmosphere, interrupting Isane and causing all three of them to look towards the doorway. They were all making their way to the fifth division. The captains. Within seconds they were all in the fifth division, some expressing shock, others racing upstairs when they felt the spiritual pressure of the four alive shinigamis.

Suì-Fēng was the first to reach them, her expression showing she demanded answers. "What happened here?!"

Hitsugaya kept his expression as neutral as he could. Before he could answer her, Kyoraku and Jushiro entered the room. They expressed similar disbelief and looked between Hitsugaya and Isane healing Izuru, trying to put two and two together.

Soon, all the captains came into the fifth division office. The only ones that weren't among them were Unohana, Mayuri, and Yamamoto. The captain turned their attention to the tenth division shinigami's once they saw Izuru and Isane. Their eyes were demanding answers, and soon those demands were vocalised in a frenzy of questions. Hitsugaya looked down at his hands realised why they had immediately asked him and his lieutenant for answers. His hands and uniform were covered and smeared with blood, so it was obvious that they had been here before the others.

He began to wonder if some were becoming suspicious that it was him and Rangiku who had slaughtered the fifth division. Since Aizen's betrayal, he wasn't the only one who had become more suspicious about people's motives and events that occurred. They kept it well hidden, but he knew that deep in their minds, they were no different from his way of thinking.

He could feel some reaitsu's start to flare. He looked back to Izuru, seeing the lieutenant wince from the increase in spiritual pressure. Hitsugaya, feeling his rage and confusion boiling over, realised his own reaitsu was rising. He flared it to its full extent for one second before dampening it down.

He knew if would stop all the captain's before their reiatsu could rise any further and that it would cease their questioning. He knew his action was rash, and in normal circumstances he wouldn't have dared tried that move.

"To answer your questions, I don't know what happened nor do I know who did this," Hitsugaya said as calmly as he could manage. "Matsumoto and I only just arrived and we've investigated the whole building. There are burn marks as you have probably already seen on the bodies of the division members and on the walls, but that is all we have managed to uncover."

All the captains took in what the young captain had told them. Some looked to each other as if expecting an answer from the other, only to receive a similar glance back at them.

"We're asking the wrong person for answers," Byakuya spoke up, his voice as serious and collected as usual. Hitsugaya noted that unlike the others, he was one of the few people who wasn't trying to demand answers from him. He looked around the whole room for any answers or clues like the tenth division captain had done.

"Yes, if anything we should be asking him for answers," Suì-Fēng said, turning to Izuru.

Everyone's eyes fell on Izuru. Isane turned her head to them, an urgent expression in place. "Let me heal him first, then he can talk."

"We don't have time for this! There's a killer on the loose and he's the only one who know who it is!" Suì-Fēng exclaimed as she stepped forward to the injured lieutenant.

Jushiro spoke up. "Suì-Fēng-taicho, he's in no condition to-"

"You would rather let the killer slaughter more shinigami?! We need to find out who did this is now!"

"She does have a point."

"Who's side are you on?! Can't you see he's had his legs hacked off?! Let Isane-fukutaicho heal him first!"

Suddenly everyone fell into an argument, and another frenzy of questions and accusations began, leaving Hitsugaya speechless. Rangiku was even joining in the arguments. However, the arguments ceased immediately when the powerful and familiar reiatsu entered the building and flash-stepped into the room. Everyone's eyes landed on the captain-commander.

His eyes scanned the whole room, eventually landing on the group of captains behind him. "While in the middle of a crisis, you bicker like children. This is not why I made you captains!"

He then turned to Hitsugaya. "And as for you, you were foolish not to immediately alert me of this event the moment you became aware of it. I am well aware that you were the first one along with your lieutenant to enter the building. I could sense your reiatsu first before Matsumoto-fukutaicho's in this building."

Hitsugaya bit his lip and groaned inwardly. He was so focused on finding out who was upstairs and was so horrified by his surroundings he didn't think about alerting Yamamoto.

He bowed his head in apology. "Apologies, captain-commander."

Suì-Fēng stepped forward again. "I was going to ask Izuru-fukutaicho about what had happened, captain-commander-"

"No excuses, Suì-Fēng-taicho," the older captain said. "What I have said to Hitsugaya-taicho goes for all of you. One of you should have alerted me of this disturbance. If it weren't for your reiatsu's I wouldn't be here-"

"Capt…tain…Com…"

Everyone turned to Izuru, whose skin was getting more colour then before. Isane leaned away so they could see him and went to work on his butchered leg and foot.

Rangiku came to his side. "Izuru…can you tell us who did this?"

He nodded once to Rangiku taking in a shallow breath. He swallowed thickly as he tried to answer. "Hi…H…na…" Giving up on speaking aloud, he leaned forward and whispered into Rangiku's ear. Her eyes widened as he leaned away, lying back on the floor.

She shook her head. "No…No!"

Izuru nodded, wincing. "I…I'm sorr..y."

"Who is it?" Hitsugaya asked.

Rangiku looked to her captain, shaking her head. "Captain, I-"

"It's Hinamori isn't it?"

Everyone looked to the fourth division lieutenant. Isane didn't look behind her shoulder to them, fully focused on Izuru's footless leg. She continued "Earlier tonight, we had an incident in the fourth division. Hinamori-san escaped from her room with her zanpukto. I was on my way to report it to you, captain commander, but then I got distracted when I detected a spiritual pressure in the fifth division and thought it might have been Hinamori-san."

Every fibre in the boy's being froze. He couldn't stop the surprised sound escaping from his lips.

"But it can't be true! Why would she do this?!" Rangiku exclaimed.

"We thought she was recovering. She was showing so much progress, but perhaps it was an act to deceive us. The fact she escaped and that Izuru told you it was her only confirms this," Isane answered.

"Very well then," Yamamoto answered. "Send word that the traitor, Momo Hinamori, is to be found. Warn your subordinates that she is unstable and a danger to those in the lower ranks of the division. She must be brought back alive for punishment, but if necessary" – he turned to the captains, a grave seriousness in his voice as he spoke – "she is to be executed on sight. If she is not willing to cooperate with any of you, kill her before she threatens anyone any further."

All the captains flash-stepped away, leaving only Rangiku, Hitsugaya, Isane and Izuru in the room.

Hitsugaya was frozen still. His eyes were wide in shock, his hands trembled ever so slightly. Everything moved around him without him noticing, making him think that time had stopped. What Izuru had whispered into Rangiku's ear, what Isane said, and Yamamoto's command replayed in his head in a messy jumble. Words didn't fit together, just like how this situation suddenly seemed so out of place.

It didn't make sense to him, he didn't understand.

He couldn't put the girl who had meant so much to him in the position of the killer. He couldn't understand why it was her. Why was the kind, optimistic, sweet Momo Hinamori being accused of this massacre?

She was recovering! He saw her change back into her old self! He saw the old Hinamori today! Surely this wasn't real. Was she being accused because of all the burn marks on the flesh of the corpses and the walls? She wasn't the only one who had a fire-based zanpukto though. She There was an imposter who had taken Hinamori away and had fire-based zanpukto…Despite that fact he knew that theory made no sense, he refused to believe that she had been the one to this.

It couldn't be her! She loved her division and the members in it. Why would she butcher them? What would her motive be? Surely, despite her insanity, she would have had a motive! His mind froze as events from today and last week started to collect together and form an answer for him.

_"I've been stabbed through the heart so many times, physically and metaphorically! Isn't it about time one of those strikes KILLED me?! Why hasn't it happened yet?! What cruel force is keeping me alive, Shiro-chan?! I can't go on living knowing I'm ALWAYS going to be stabbed in the HEART!"_

"…_I need you, Shiro-chan, more than ever."_

_"Soon, this will all be over."_

His ears rung as his knees gave way. He bowed his head the floor, putting his bloodied hands in front of himself so he wouldn't completely fall flat. When his palms hit the ground, something in him snapped. He bit hard on his lip to contain a scream of rage that threatened to escape from his throat. The rage he had felt before pumped through his veins, freezing his body into a state of shivers and shudders.

_"Soon, this will all be over."_

"Damn it…No!"

_"Soon, this will all be over."_

"No…"

_"Soon, this will all be over."_

"No, no, no…"

_"Soon, this will all be over."_

"DAMN YOU! WHY DID YOU DO THIS?!"

He panted, his hands covering face as he finally accepted the truth. He felt his emotions burn him to the core, twisting his heart as if trying to break it. His whole body ached as cold blood pulsed through him.

Hinamori was the killer, and no matter how or when she was captured, she would be killed either way.

The Soul Society wasn't forgiving of any traitors, mental condition or not. He knew there would be no trial for her. They would execute her, whether it was with a zanpukto or on Soukyoku Hill. She massacred her former division members because she had nothing left to lose anymore. She did this because she wanted to die…and she wanted to die by his hand. This was the consequences of not killing her when she requested him to.

He looked around him, surprised when he didn't see Rangiku, Isane or Izuru. As if on cue, Rangiku appeared before him in a flash-step. "T-Taicho…?"

She looked down at him, and he hated it. He got enough strength to get himself up but kept his head bowed. "Where did you go?"

Rangiku looked away from him. "I-I, um…I helped Isane get Kira to the fourth division." Her voice was weak and uncertain. She looked back to Hitsugaya, shallowing back the urge to break down and cry. She looked into his eyes, and the sight almost made her lose control of her emotions.

Before her, she saw not the strong, intelligent, cold, and collected captain of the tenth division. She saw a broken boy, finally coming to terms with what just happened. There were trails of blood on his face, darking his ashen and broken expression. The ice in his eyes was cracked and falling to pieces. She saw rage and anguish flicker in the turquoise, and she wondered if her eyes were a reflection of his.

"Let's go, Matsumoto…" he said in a whisper as he stepped past her. He flash-stepped so far away she couldn't detect where he was. She ran out into the rain, searching for his reiatsu amongst the hundreds of others. All around her, shinigami's were searching for Hinamori. A flash of white hair caught her eye and she flash-step towards the roofs.

"Taicho, hold on!" she called out. She managed to catch up to him, running along the beams and tiles of the roofs. Thunder boomed across the Sereitei, deafening the shouts and yells of the shinigami who searched for Momo. Rangiku winced at the sound of loud thunder, tempted to cover her ears to block out the sound.

She looked to her captain, seeing that his expression had changed. The blood was being washed away by the rain. Anger was all that held his face from falling into a sorrowful expression. '_Enough is enough'_, she thought. With that, she stopped in front of him, causing him to skid to a stop.

With a look of bewilderment, he asked "Matsumoto, what are doing?"

"Can you kill her, taicho?"

The question caught him off guard, so much so he couldn't stop the look of horror reaching his face. Then the steely determination fell over his face, masking the true emotions he bottled up in his system. "I will if I have to."

It was Rangiku's turn to be caught off guard, as a look of astonishment washed over her. Her wet hair fell over her shoulder as she leaned away in shock. She shook her head. "Don't give me that crap! I know you, and I know you won't."

"Now's not the time, Matsumoto-!"

"Now's a good a time as any!"

His rage was getting the better of him. He clenched his fist, a last attempt to stop it coming forth in its entirety. "I will if I have to! Of course I'm going to try and find another way first, but you heard the captain-commander's orders!"

"Do you _really_ think I was going to kill Gin, even if I had to?" Rangiku said, her own rage making its way out. "I came to the battle to defeated Aizen, not Gin. I chased after Gin to ask him why he betrayed us, not because I planned to kill him. I tried convinced myself that in the name of the tenth division and the Soul Society, I would kill the bastards that betrayed us! In the end I knew it wasn't true…I could kill Aizen and Tosen, but not Gin. No matter what he had done, and even if I had the upper hand, I wouldn't be able to kill him!"

Hitsugaya, normally sympathetic or wanting to comfort his friend, shoved past her, about to make a run for it. He wasn't sure why, but he had the sudden urge to run away from her. Was it the words she spoke? Were they true? They evoked a sense of dread within him.

"Don't run away, taicho, you're not a coward!" she yelled above the thunder and lightning.

He stopped, but kept his back to her. She slowly approached him, her voice more gentle but still strong enough to get the message across to him. "What you said, taicho, was what I told myself as well. It wasn't until I ran after Aizen and Gin that I was lying to myself. More than anything I wanted answers out of Gin, not to get revenge or kill him for what he did. I wouldn't be able to kill him. I think…that is what you want right now. You want answers…from her.

"You won't be able to kill her, taicho, but that isn't a sign of weakness. I know that I shouldn't be saying that, that I should be telling you that no matter what, personal feelings aside, you must kill her, for the sake of the Soul Society, but we both know that I would only be biting down on tongue. So, my question is what will do? I need to know your plan, taicho, so that I buy you enough time to do whatever you have to do with Momo…"

He bowed his head as her words began to sink in. He shivered from the rain that drenched his uniform, or was it from the realisation that hit him? Back in the office, he had told himself he needed to go out and hunt down Hinamori. He was going to try and talk her out of her actions, to coming willingly. If he had to, he would kill her in the name f peace, the Soul Society, and for those she had slaughtered. He didn't let his emotions leak into his judgement. Emotions would only confuse him and send him on the wrong path. They were not what the Soul Society wanted. The Soul Society wanted peace and justice through justification and reasoning.

She was right.

He knew in the deep parts of his soul and mind, he wouldn't be able to kill his childhood friend. He couldn't even imagine stabbing Hyourinmaru through her chest, but this time with the intention of killing her instead of being an accident. No…he wouldn't kill her. He would never hurt her. He could never do it, not even when insanity was clouding her judgement. She was Momo Hinamori, the childhood friend and the person who meant the world to him. He felt like a monster for believing he could kill one of the few people that believed in him and who he loved. Loved?

He bit his lip at the word. Did he love Hinamori? As a sibling or…as a woman? He didn't know, nor did he have the time to consider it. He had to focus on a new plan. He knew he can't ill Hinamori, not even after all that she has done. The plan that formed in his head based purely on his emotions, a dangerous tactic, but one that could potentially save Hinamori from death and capital punishment. No matter what love he felt toward his childhood friend, it only showed that he cared enough about her to risk everything.

"Matsumoto."

"Taicho?"

"I don't know what will happen, but I plan on leading her away from the Seireitei, and I don't want you to be part of this plan."

"Taicho, you risk becoming a traitor!"

"I know the risks!" He calmed himself so that his tone wasn't as harsh. "I'm willing to take them. If I am seen as a traitor along side with her, then so be it. I don't want you to be involved in this…If nothing else, Matsumoto, trust me."

She was faced with the real possibility that this would be the last time she would see him as her captain again. She cringed, but in her mind she knew that her captain was the only one who could save Hinamori. She looked to him, memorizing the details of the back of his head and drenched haori, trying to remember Hitsugaya not as her captain, but as her friend. "Find her before anyone else does. Go, taicho."

The words shook him. Rangiku, his most trusted friend, he may never be able to see her like that anymore if he becomes a traitor and runs away from the Soul Society with Hinamori. He took a step forward. He wanted to say so much to her, but only four words came out in a voice of gratitude. "Thank you, Rangiku Matsumoto."

And with that he was gone. His reiatsu was lost amongst the hundreds of others. This time, she didn't trying to search for his reiatsu amongst the sea of others. She looked up to the sky, rain blinding her vision, or was it tears?

"Please save her, and save him, Hina-chan."

Hitsugaya searched every place in the Seireitei with hast, but like the shinigami's around him, he found no trace of her. He knew he had to hurry; it would only be a matter of time before she was found. He guessed that she was dampening her reiatsu somehow, so that she would remain hidden to those who searched for her.

He stood on the wall around the Seireitei, looking down at the hundred of shinigami's that ran through the Rukongai, asking people if they had seen 'the traitor' or searching the buildings. Rain fell one all of them, and some shivered not just from the rain and cold, but from the invasion of hundred of reiatsu.

The rain drenched his uniform and hair. He slid a hand through his hair, combing back most of the strands. His mind was trying to think of where she would be. He checked all the places she loved to go or where he thought she would most likely hide. The possibility that she had already escaped had crossed his mind, and he reasoned that wouldn't be that far away from the Seireitei if she had. Hinamori was a great shinigami, and held a powerful will, but she was nowhere near as strong or fast as the captains. That reiatsu he detected before discovering the slaughter shinigami in the barracks was hers, and it frightened him how much she had changed. The reiatsu he knew from Hinamori was strong when in battle, but was usually calm and gentle, and had a soothing effect on him. This new reiatsu was insane, unstable and powerful, but not as strong as his. She was close, but still far away.

Close but still far away…

His eyes widened as he thought of one place he hadn't checked. He mentally slapped himself for not thinking about it sooner. He leapt off the wall, landing near the entrance and then sprinting off into the Rukongai. His thought were only focused on the one woman who would hide Hinamori, who loved her as much as he did.

Granny.

She would hide Hinamori, and maybe she wouldn't even know what is going on. He made his way through the Rukongai, making sure that none of the other shinigami saw him. He had a hard time finding a route that didn't have many or any shinigami around. Whenever they looked away or turned their backs, he'd make a quick sprint away from them, keeping his spiritual pressure as low he could.

Lightning and thunder was becoming more frequent, and the wind was picking up. People started to go back into their homes, only to be asked to open their doors for questioning about 'the traitor'. Hitsugaya found himself alone in the street where his hold home stood. He looked at the house but didn't let the memories of his childhood cloud his mind.

He detected the faintest reiatsu within house. With caution, he slid the front door open. The house was dark inside. His eyes had troubling adjusting to the dark, but from what he could tell, none of the furniture was disturbed from its place. Everything looked normally except for the lighting.

"Granny?" he called out. "Are you in here?"

He slowly crept towards his old room that he shared with Hinamori. If she was here, she would most likely be in that room. He readied his hand on the door, taking in a deep breath to prepare himself for the worst. She probably knew he was outside of the door.

With a powerful wave of awareness and heightened sense, he thrust the door aside with force. He was met with no raging force or an insane Hinamori. He found his old room to be empty, his and Hinamori's old futons still laid out on the ground.

He had to make sure that she wasn't in here, and stepped into the room with agonising slowness. He was surprised that his Granny hadn't come bustling in to see what he was doing. A sense of worry began to trip into the pool of his raging emotions.

"Granny?!" he called out, louder and more urgent.

He stopped when he heard movement on the veranda. A body fell on the wooden boards with a loud 'thud'. He quickly turned raced for the veranda.

He thrust the door aside, almost breaking them off the hinges.

His blood turned cold and the word suddenly became dizzy.

He struggled to breathe.

He somehow managed not to collapse on to his knees in front of the sight.

There, lying before him with her back turned and her skin pale, was his Granny. Her wrinkled skin was hidden underneath her sleeping robes, and her fail, limp body was being drenched in the rain. There was a small trail of blood trailing from the side of her head.

His eyes looked to the killer that stood above her. She held of the old woman's tiny hands in her own. In the other hand was her zanpukto, smeared with blood and giving off a fowl stench. She stood over their Granny, drenched in blood and rain from head to toe. Her hair was dishevelled in a messy, unclothed bun. She wore her black robes that were torn with cuts and slashes from zanpuktos. Her eyes were hidden underneath her messy, wet fringe.

She let go of the woman hand, which fell and landed heavily on the floorboards. The killer turned to Hitsugaya, and when her crazed, broken eyes reached his, she grinned. It was a manic grin, one of the deepest insanity. The blood on her face and drench in her hair made her look like a demon, and the voice that came from her throat was a sugary sweet hell.

"Is this reason enough now for you to kill me?"

His reiatsu exploded as did all of the restraints he put on himself. A scream ripped from his throat, raw and filled with deep aguish and rage. He drew Hyourinmaru and made a slash at her. She dodged; laughing while she flashed stepped to the edge of the forest that lay in front of him. She still grinned at him, but sobbed.

He made a mad dash towards with killing intent.

* * *

**Definitely considering changing the rating to M. Don't be surprised if the next time you seen this story it'll be in the M rating. However, let me know what you think. Reviews and comments are always appreciated :D**

**LASTLY, AN IMPORTANT NOTICE:**** I need some help deciding the ending for this fanfiction. Normally I know the ending before I even start writing the first chapter, but this story has led me to consider three different endings. I need your help in deciding the end. I've opened up a poll on my profile with the three choices. On my profile there will be one sentence descriptions about each of the endings. Please vote for the ending you think will fit the story, that you'd like to see, and that will, most likely, have a huge emotional response from you XD**

**Thanks for reading and keep writing!**

**-Warrayfinson**


	5. Chapter 5 - At Fault

**AN: Hey everyone!**

**Here's the second last chapter. Originally, this was supposed to be the last, but since I haven't gotten enough votes for the ending, I decided to split it up into two chapters. Anyhow, I hope you enjoy it! :D Also, thank you to ****chica121, Kuchiki-Hime, and hailey-shiro for your reviews! :3**

**Disclaimer: I own this laptop, these drawings, this IPod, that door over there, this obsession of I have with Germany from **_**Hetalia**_** and also with Hitsuhina, that pencil case behind me, and that lamp over there somewhere, Tite Kubo owns BLEACH.**

* * *

**Through Cracked Ice**

Chapter Five: At Fault

He made a mad dash towards her with killing intent.

She sprinted into the forest. He followed her, reaching her in seconds with a flash-step, blocking her path with a defensive stance. She skidded to a stop just a metre away from him and laughed. With wild eyes, she brought Tobiume forward and made a slash for Hitsugaya's chest. He dodged the attack, stepping away from the offending blade and bringing his own to strike against hers.

The two blades collided and neither could move them. They pushed against each other, faces coming close together as they put all of their strength behind their zanpuktos.

Hinamori's grin widened, reaching her ears and flashing her teeth. "Now do you want to kill me?"

He sneered at her. Rage boiled within him, and a new surge of strength came from the adrenaline that coursed through his veins. His eyes still saw the old woman dead on the porch, miles away now. Her lifeless hand hit the boards. Her killer was before his, grinning at him with an insane euphoria. The memory stung and horrified him to the core.

Her hand came out from underneath the gnashing swords, her index and middle finger aimed at his lower torso. "Hado 4, Byakurai!"

Just as the pulse of destructive energy began to ignite on her fingertips, Hitsugaya pushed himself away. His haori was in the line of fire, and half of it burned away through the energy bolt. He looked to where Hinamori was standing before. She was gone but reappeared in front of him, slashing her sword at him with a scream. He flash-stepped, receiving a shallow cut before he could avoid the blade. He flash-stepped behind her, crouching to the ground and clutching his side where she had cut him. He winced as he saw his hand was covered in blood. The injury wasn't deep, just enough to make him bleed but he could still fight. The grip on Hyourinmaru tightened at the sight of the blood as it ran from his fingers in the rain.

He expected her to move and attack him while his back was to her, but all he could hear was her panting. He dared to turn his head ever so slightly. He ground his teeth together, his anger spewing forth in his voice as he yelled "If you want to die so desperately why are you fighting me?!"

He heard a sly chuckle as she turned to him, her sword still raised. "What a stupid question to ask, Shiro-chan!"

The nickname stung, but not in embarrassment or annoyance, but in now bitter and blood-drenched hatred. He stood up, still not turning to her. He wanted to hear the rest of her answer before he attacked again.

"I'm not as desperate or weak as I was in the forth division. I wanted an instant death back then, and I didn't care if I lost my honour. After escaping from the fourth division, I realised I want to die fighting a captain of the Social Society. I want to die with honour in battle against you!"

"There's no honour in that!" he exclaimed as he curtly turned to her. He felt she was mocking his beliefs and principles, everything he and many others in the Soul Society stood for.

She sneered at him, taking a step towards him in warning. "Are you only saying that because you don't want to fight me? Damn you! Come at me and fight!" There pools of rage boiling in her eyes as she stared him down with a crazed glare. The blood that caked her face from earlier only added to the emotions raging like a wildfire in her eyes. It made her look inhuman.

She was a crazed beast.

And the very sight of her made him run. He was shocked by his own actions when he flash-stepped away from her, deeper into the forest. He looked back as his legs carried him into another flash-step and then into a sprint.

"You coward! Where are you?!" He could feel her fluctuating reiatsu far behind him, running through the forest to towards him. Rain fell in sheets as thunder sounded off in the distance. His mind was filled with questions against his actions. Why was he running away? Why did the sight moments ago trigger this? Was he afraid?

_She took in a breath, calming the quivering lip and the tear flow. She looked at him with new eyes. They were almost like the eyes of the old Hinamori. They were so full of life and conviction he thought he had finally broken through the barriers that had stopped her from returning._

_"Shiro-chan…kill me."_

His breath hitched as the memories flooded his mind in a painful frenzy.

_There was a piercing silence ringing in his ears, and all that seemed to exist was the dark room. His eyes widened from the moment the last word left her lips. He had heard the words her whispering voice said clearly._

_Yet despite this, he asked in shock "What?"_

_"Kill me…" she replied almost immediately. "Shiro-chan, you said you would do anything for me! Kill me, before I do something crazy – "_

_"No!" he cut her off. "What the heck are you saying?! Do you even hear yourself?! I won't let you do anything crazy, so just stop! The Hinamori I knew wouldn't give up like this, so don't you dare try to escape this by killing yourself!"_

"Damn it all…"

_"Why won't you…do it?" She threw herself away from him. "It's not an escape…"Her sadness turned to rage once more. Her eyes burned into him, her mental state now totally broken. "IT'S NOT AN ESCAPE!"_

_There were no more chains connecting to the Hinamori he knew. Every link was shattered before his eyes as he gazed at the creature before him, who had taken the hollow body of Momo Hinamori. It had completely bleached out her soul. "You think that this is an excuse to run away?!" she screeched "You've killed me before, right?! Why can't you do it again?!" She grinned manically. "I've been stabbed through the heart so many times, physically and metaphorically! Isn't it about time one of those strikes KILLED me?! Why hasn't it happened yet?! What cruel force is keeping me alive, Shiro-chan?! I can't go on living knowing I'm ALWAYS going to be stabbed in the HEART!"_

He could have ended her life that day. If had, none of this would have happened. Everyone in the fifth division and his granny would be alive. Was this his fault? Did everything happen because he chose not to kill her?

Was his fault?

Was the blood of an entire Gotei division and his granny on his hands? No, because it was never his intention. All he wanted was for Hinamori to recover, but it was her choice to do what she did. Even after all that she has done, he knew he couldn't go through with killing her.

"Snap, Tobiume!"

He yelped as he was shoved backwards by the fireball. He slammed against a tree, which shook under the weight of the powerful assault. He was quick to recover as he picked himself up and looked back to the girl that screamed as she raised her blade at him.

He quickly brought Hyourinmaru to clash with Tobiume. The strike was power enough to make her stumble back, her blade almost falling from her grasp. She laughed and slackened the hold on her zanpukto. She casually stood there, looking at him with a grin. "Shiro-chan…stop playing games."

His grip on Hyourinmaru tightened. He raised his blade in warning, staring her down. "Why are you doing this, Hinamori? Killing yourself to end your suffering is not the answer and we both know that!"

She laughed in amusement. "What makes you think I want to die to end my suffering?! Do you think that's the only reason, Shiro-chan!"

"This whole time then, after Aizen's defeat" – word tasted acidic on his tongue - "…has it all been a lie? Was it all an act? You didn't have to kill your entire division! What the hell were you thinking?!"

"I had to…otherwise no one would kill me. I need to give the Soul Society a reason to kill, and I gave it to them. I slaughtered all them…and it was the most liberating experience of my life!"

His rage subsided to horror. His eyes widened at her gleeful reply and his mouth gaped open. "What?"

She raised her arms and head up to the sky as if giving it praise. Rain struck her face, washing some of the blood from her hair and face. "Slashing all of them, making them feel the most pain they've felt in all of their years was…so liberating," she bellowed gleefully "You're just like Aizen-taicho! You've both stabbed me in the heart, whether it was with your zanpukto or with your words! You're no different from Aizen-taicho! You never were!"

Shock washed over him. He couldn't act on the rage, because he knew what the consequences were. In his rage against Aizen, he ended up committing a horrible sin…one that clearly still haunted her. His actions had caused her to snap.

"I'm sorry…"

She lowered her head to look at him, shocked when he lowered his blade and head. The grin faded. "What?"

He bit on the inside of his lip. He couldn't stop the emotions reaching his face and twisting it into an agonized expression. Her words ran through him, striking his heart with a painful stab. Was this the same pain she felt when he stabbed her? If this is what she constantly felt in her heart, then it's no wonder she wanted end her suffering. He knew though that killing her wasn't the answer. He had another plan intended for her, and if he didn't act on it quick and convince her, the Soul Society was going to execute her. He had no intention of killing her, but he had to cal her down before he gave into the rage.

Hinamori bowed her head, a closed-lip smile forming. "I knew that killing the fifth division wouldn't give enough reason to kill me…so you forced me to take action against the person who means so much to us…"

He raised his head. His eyes still wide, he watched her as she raised her head, a twisted and enraged expression on her face mixed with a demonic grin. She spoke in a controlled voice with a menacing undertone.

"I entered our old house, and there she was, about to make tea…" she said, her eyes locked on to Hitsugaya "When she saw me, she smiled and asked why I had come to visit so late in the night. I watched as she looked at e from head to toe. She saw all of the blood on me…and she was horrified. I've never seen her horrified before, Shiro-chan…I scared her so badly. She was shaking and asking if I was really Momo Hinamori. She even backed away to the balcony. I hated her looking and acting that way…"

Fury built within him, and his spiritual pressure rose.

"I cut her down then. I stabbed my blade right through the old hag's chest and waited for you to find us! I held her body to give her a painful hope that I was still her Momo Hinamori and that this was a horrible nightmare. She called out for you, Shiro-chan! She practically _screamed _out for you! You didn't hear her though! You didn't hear her as she screamed 'Toshiro…Toshiro, save me!' You didn't save me, and you couldn't save her!"

His motives for her changed in an instant. His blinding rage twisted his intentions into ones of a killer. This all would have been easier if she just didn't put up a fight. He could end her life with a quick swipe of his blade. The sight of his dead granny only encouraged the motive further.

He went on the offensive and attacked her. She defended herself before he could cut her.

"So you're finally attacked, Shiro-chan!"

Death to the traitor.

The situation was so familiar it felt as though the only thing that had changed was person he intended to kill.

"Bankai!"

* * *

The sounds of blades clashing could be heard from the Rukongai, and some its residents stood in the rain to listen to the battle in the forest. Fireballs exploded from the forest, usually followed by a scream or cackle of a crazed girl. They could feel the strong spiritual pressures, one cold and the other hot. It was moments later that they began t fade into the distance, further away from the Soul Society.

She stood there, water dripping from her clenched fist as she sensed the reiatsu of her captain fade into the distance. "What are you doing?"

She looked behind her to the Seiretei, wondering how much longer it would take until they sensed the spiritual pressures. "Hurry, taicho, save her…"

* * *

The forest was scarred by the assault of blades, fire and ice. Ice froze some of the plants while fire singed in the rain. The trees were scarred by the blades. The forest was the only witness of the battle. The battle was a blur of rage and agony, between two people who knew each other almost since their existence in the Soul Society.

As the clashed, gnashed, and bashed against each other with their blades, the rain didn't stop nor did the thunder and lightning. It drenched them to their bones in an icy, numbing chill. Darker clouds gathered over the dualists.

The young captain clutched his side as it began to bleed again and panted. The young lieutenant hunched over, panting and sucking in as much air as she could into her strained lungs. They stared each other down. Then, in time, they moved towards each other, swords raised.

They both had a plan.

One wanted to tie by the blade of the other.

The other leapt up into the sky, blade raised above his head. She stopped, confused by the sudden attack. She thought she had predicted his next move. She could only watch as he brought the blade down, and with it an eruption of ice.

Lightning lit up the attacker, and showed her his expression of rage and fury. The ice hit her in the torso, sending her backwards and hitting a tree trunk. She screamed out in rage. She stopped when she saw her attacker dive towards her. He let out a scream of his own, one of an enraged warrior. Her eyes widened as sheets of ice and snow rained down on her.

She blocked the icy onslaught with her zanpukto, a large icicle hit her hand, causing her howl in pain and throw drop her weapon. One icicle stabbed her shoulder, inches away from her heart. It weakened her and she fell against the tree. Her attacker sent a large bolt of ice at her, and within seconds, she was trapped in a tiny space. The walls around her were thick ice, and her zanpukto lay outside of the cavity.

He slowly floated back to the ground, keeping his eye on the trapped girl inside of the icy prison he had created. The ice took up the whole length of the tree, completely trapping her inside. When his feet settled on the ground, he walked to her without any expression.

She looked at him, her face distorted through the thick ice. He continued to watch her as she stood up, clutching her injured shoulder, and looking around the small space she was trapped in. He heard a faint laugh, and then a cough. She fell to her knees, smiling at him. Though faint, he could hear her say "So this is how you plan to kill me? Slow and painful?"

The ice took up the whole length of the tree, leaving only a small space for the girl to move around in. She was completely trapped and there was no means of escape. Her breaths were numbered. The air would run out.

He lowered his zanpukto, and through gnashed teeth, screamed her. "Are you satisfied now?! Is this what you wanted?! End this…for both of us!"

The rage pulsed through him, but in the back of his mind, something began to reawaken. His rage had buried to it so it wouldn't get in the way.

The memories.

The emotions.

The heart.

* * *

**Well, I'm not entirely sure if shinigami's nee to breathe, but I imagine they would despite the fact they're dead. I mean, then can still die and bleed, so they'd need to breathe too wouldn't they? If it been stated somewhere that they don't, then sorry ^^;**

**Sorry that it's a short chapter :( I think it's the weakest one so far as well, but oh well. The next chapter will be the last (and the longest), but ****I need more votes for the ending**** before I can write it. ****So if you haven't voted already, go vote now! ****The more votes I get for an ending, the quicker I can write the chapter :D**

**Thank you for everyone's support and reviews, they're always welcomed and appreciated.**

**Thanks for reading and keep writing!**

**-Warrayfinson**


End file.
